We have two political parties in this country, the Stupid Party and the Evil Party. I belong to the Stupid Party.
—Sen. Alan Simpson
There are over 1,200 Registered Student Organizations at UC Berkeley. According to our calculations, five of these are right-wing, conservative or libertarian. The "non-partisan" clubs are cowering in fear of having their quite inane thoughts and opinions effect their transcripts, recommendation letters and job prospects. They are correct about the first two. They are also stupid. What the powers that be don't want you to know is that once you summon the integrity and testicular fortitude, there is a large national support system for stupid people like you. Yes, even right here at Berkeley. Just keep in mind to speak softly while in the questionable company of the Stasi professoriat and administration—not to mention your bitter and unhinged lefty peers. They may be objectively less healthy, less attractive, angry and, well, evil but apparently we are the stupid ones. So, here is a very short stupid guide. The only requirement of joining one of these clubs is that you are nice and support the other right-wing students and clubs on campus. Keep in mind if you are here to pad your resume, treat people like line-items on your CV, or otherwise be a jerk, you are a grifter and we do not want you. Berkeley conservatives want smart leaders we can trust who build strong careers and orgs with lasting succession plans. Let's work together to be just a little less stupid.
